did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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