wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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