They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
