Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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