That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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