The maid of honor just puked.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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