dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
