She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize