We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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