Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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