Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
