when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
