He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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