i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
