Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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