Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
