Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Boobs speak an international language.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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