Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
