So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize