tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
