Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
