I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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