Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
