no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
