i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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