actually, I'm a sock model
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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