I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
