He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
