I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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