Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
