your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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