I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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