The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
