You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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