I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
