I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
