My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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