Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
