I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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