I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
