You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
