I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i out mim tonsoeep
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