we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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