that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
