Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
