I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
