Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
