so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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