He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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