It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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