you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
