I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
