I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
