4 words: hood of his car
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
