It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
