Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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