we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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