At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
