Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
