Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
