i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
