yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize