Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
