halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
