i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
